....and I need to rewind real slow....!!!!
The year is almost over!!!!!!
Time goes by so fast. I look at my girls and I wonder, everyday, where they went. The young ladies I see can't possibly be my little baby girls.
Cecilia is such a young woman already! She comes home from school everyday with something new and interesting to tell us, some things, I admit, I am not ready for her to know...but for the most part she just fascinated me with her mind! Today the news was that a boy in her class...bet you know where this is going...is IN LOVE with her and just so I know, she is NOT happy about that! Thank the Lord! I know, with little beauties like mine, Jared and I are going to have one heck of a time in years to come with boys knocking the doors down to get to them...of course, when those boys come face to face with the 45 they might change their minds! lol! I am just not ready to deal with all that yet!!!
Ciara is growing so fast. She has new questions to ask me everyday, new facts to tell me from what she learns on t.v. or from Cecilia, and many many ideas in her head! She has gotten so tall, sprouting up like Cecilia our little giant, and I can't help but think back to day one, holding her tiny little body...far different looking than the long blond haired 4 year old in front of me!
Cadince, my little Cadie bug, though obviously bigger than she was at birth is still so tiny...but she is 3?! How did that happen?! She is still majorly struggling with potty training, and a broken collarbone has not helped the matter, but she is growing up just the same. I am amazed by all she can comprehend each day and how she can understand more and more of what we say and do. Three years ago she was just a little preemie baby, so tiny and fragile, and now she is my big girl...about to be a big sister! Yes, I definitely miss my little girls!
I realize today that, despite the craziness I have gone through the past few months and the insane 27lbs I have put on the past 33 weeks, I am about to not be pregnant anymore and I am oh so sad!!! Any day now Chase will be born, and I will no longer have a little miracle inside me. Since we have decided that, barring some insane twist of fate, this will be our last baby, the idea is even more tragic to me... no more waking up in the middle of the night feeling the baby kick, no more crazy cravings... it will all be over soon...already?!?!
Why does everything precious have to go by so fast? Why can't we slow down the wonderful parts of life?! The Lord knows what he is doing, this I know, but sometimes...well it's hard to say goodbye to those moments that take your breathe away!
On the plus side..... my little man will be here soon! I feel completely unprepared as nearly every mother does right before the baby comes, but I am so excited to hold him! Everyday is another day closer to touching him and loving him more than imaginable! What a blessing that will be!
I want to say that, unfortunately, hard times bring out the truth about certain situations and people. I have found that, there are many friends I thought Icould count on that I indeed can not. My family has been so supportive and constantly involved with every step of everything and I appreciate them more than I could every explain. My sister has been living with me, my on call emergency system if you will, and has helped keep me sane in my time of "captivity"! I get phone calls from family states away every week to stay up to date on the situation and many friends and family who can not be here to help, still offer prayer and assure me I am loved. For those who don't know or understand, in times of trial and pain and worry...sometimes the most important things is to know you are loved. I have made friends during this period in my life that i hope I never lose and I hope you know who you are...people I never had any contact with before really have become supportive aspects of my life. Thank all of you who have cared and who have been there, offering meals, relief, and support to Jared and I during this crazy time.
As far as Chase goes, here is the update... figured I should get to that eventually =)
I am 33 1/2 weeks along and just got home yesterday from the hospital where I was in preterm labor for 16 hours! Blah! I was put on the magnesium and 12 hours later my labor finally stopped. I am dilated at 3cm and counting...if I get to 4cm they cannot give me the medication to stop labor. If Chase is born anytime within the next week and 1/2 he will not be able to come home right away...he will spend a few days to a week or so in the NICU for his lungs to develop. Right now he is about 4 1/2lbs and I have already had the steroid shots to help his development along faster. My doctor expects that he will be here within the next week, though it is possible (not likely but miracles happen) that I can hold out for another 2 weeks. In all likelihood and probability we will have a baby by Christmas.
For those trying to stay updated, please pray for us. I desperately want to bring my son home once he is born, Cadince's 10 day stay in the NICU was nearly unbearable. Pray for his health, our patience, and our understanding of whatever decision the Lord makes for us. I suppose I am done rambling and updating...don't know when I will be on again as I am actually contracting pretty bad tonight... by as soon as we know more I will try and post!
Thank you so much and Bless you for your prayers and support, even if it is silent...
2 comments:
great post! you know i never understood why people felt so bad for us when our boys were in the hospital for a month. it was the fact that we didn't know any different...we had never brought a baby home before. it was when i was in the hospital with leila that i finally 'got it'. i knew what it was like and i couldn't imagine having to leave her behind. praying baby chase keeps hanging in there so he can come right home with you! what a merry christmas this will be for your family! squeeze those legs together tight, lol! lmk if there's anything i can do...i am finally recovering from my yuckies and bronchitis! :)
I glad to see the baby is still holding out on his grand entrance. I can't imagine the feeling of knowing he is the last, all of our friends who went through it mourned several landmark events as they passed, knowing they would never get to experience those moments with another baby. We didn't think Kaylee was our last and I regret not taking the time to appreciate every moment I could with her. You have such beautiful kids, tell them to slow down and stop growing (they may not listen, mine don't, but it's worth a try).
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