Okay so lately I have been building on an issue, well alot of issues related to the same general issue, and I ave found a great deal of anger is inside of me. I am typically not the kind to get angry and stay that way. I fume to my husband about whatever bothers me, and then I am over it and (especially when it involves another person) I tend to ignore the fact that it ever happened. When a "friend" or someone offends me or upsets me, I vent and then I forget... no real anger issues here. However, there is one issue, one group of problems that keep occuring and keep frustrating me and I recently discovered that I am really upset about them. No matter how much I talk to Jared about it, pray, read through some scripture, or try to ignore it, the anger just keeps building up inside and I feel almost a violent rage towards this issue. The thing is, it's mostly centered around someone else, not me. Yes there are problems within this issue that concern me and those are upsetting, but mostly the anger I have is centered around the areas where this issue affects/concerns my husband.
I think I have learned that I am quite defensive when it comes to my other half. Jared and I may have our squabbles and bad days here and there, but ultimately he is the most important person in my life save my kids and I don't take too kindly to people disrespecting and slandering him.
Because of the sensitivity of this issue and those involved I dont want to come right out and say who and what (actually I do but the christian in me is keeping it under wraps for now for the sake of maturity and that whole turn the other cheek clause) but I just need to know the best way to get rid of this anger. Since I am not shown respect by those concerned in this issue, approaching them is not a viable solution, but I am afraid if I continue down this path of rage that it is going to end badly.... I need prayers please and suggestions if you have any. Mostly i think having someone to help with guidance would be nice but I am afraid my search for guidance would be considered more gossiping then counseling from a friend so I remain mute for now.
Guess this is the outcome of what the mind thinks of at 12am. I wasnt planning on going into this that much at all...
Also, while I am already driving down this road, as a parent anyone reading this, If someone were to hit your child- not spank their butts in a disciplinary way but actually hit them- an adult that is realted to you or your spouse, what is the best way to handle that? My first instinct is to rip their head off but I am, and only the Lord knows why, trying to avoid hurting anyone's feelings and causing even more family drama... but I do not feel right stepping aside and acting as if nothing happened for the sake of keeping everyone from being upset with me. Not like they aren't already? Is it ok to sacrifice that type of outburts, keep things under wraps and ignore it in order to please everyone else, when someone has harmed your child whether it was with harmful intent or not? I just need to know that I am not violent and crazy.
Well, on a lighter note Jared has lined up a few more interviews and we are praying for a notice soon on one of these jobs!! Living with my Mom and Dad is proving to be slightly stressful but overall not a bad experience so far! I think the fact that we have alot of love between us and all have a great relationship with the Lord really helps! That and my folks just LOVE spending time with their grandbabies! lol
Our Walk Together
2 comments:
i would pull the person aside and talk to them about touching your child. they need to know that it isn't ok with you or jared. or maybe have jared do it, depending on who it is. it is absolutely not ok to hit them, espcially if it wasn't for discipline.
as for the anger....if you have tried talking to them and are getting nowhere i would suggest counseling to deal with the anger. if they aren't willing to go down the road with you for whatever the situatuion is..you are gonna need to figure out how to deal b/c it will eat you alive!
hugs!
Thanks for the advice. I am definitely going to talk to Jared about pulling him aside and talking to him, I don't think I could do it without blowing up. And yeah, I am experiencing alot of the eat-you-alive part right now so I am going to talk to someone about it as soon as I can.
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