Overwhelmed with Crappy Mom Syndrome

Well I am officially hard core back at work now. I have worked everyday but Sunday for the past week and I have Thursday off then nothing all next week (the studio manager is leaving on vacation now that I am back so I am running the show which means even when I am off I am on call). I thoroughly enjoy my job and it feels great to be back at work. The weird crazy part that i wasn't really thinking about ahead of time was the Crappy Mom Syndrome that comes with being back at work and having a full time job. I have crazy nights, due to my pregnancy, where I sleep very little and what sleep I do get is sparatic and light. I get up early in the morning because this crazy baby has an internal alarm clock that doesnt allow me sleep past 8 no matter how hard I try and I get ready for work. I work 9-11 hours away from my kids and then drive home tired. I walk into my house and lo and behold- it's just as trashed and insane as it was when I left and all I can do is trip over randomly placed items while I yell and scream at my children about the mess I see instead of greeting them with hugs and "I love you's" like a good mom would. We have lived here a month and frankly nothing much has been done. I am ashamed to have anyone in my house and I would rather pack up my entire family and drive out in the heat to meet up with a friend or family then have them step foot in my home. The other day I came home from grocery shopping to find that my psycho dog had torn apart 2 trash bags full of garbage that we had just set by the door so we would remember to throw them in Jared's truck to run to the dump. I, being pregnant and not of sound stomach, could not even be in the kitchen it was so bad. I had to gag my way through picking up half exposed diapers and dinner scraps. Judge me if you will because it wont make my house any cleaner nor my life any easier so it's not going to affect me, butI threw that dog out of the house and just started screaming. I yelled at the kids about how they leave messes around the house and how they don't clean up after their breakfast, I yelled to myself about how Jared should have taken the bags with him that morning instead of leaving them sitting around the house, and I yelled because I was so ashamed of my home that "I" didn't even want to be there. I have obviously seen what it is like to fail at being a house wife- or any kind of wife for that matter. My kids are always walking around on eggshells because they are sure I am about to yell at them for something. Don't get me wrong, my girls do neglect their responsibilites and show little appreciation for rules- but they are 9, 6, and 4, and don't deserve a crappy mom who cant take care of their home or properly provide for her family without having an anxiety attack or psycho break down.
I am not here blogging about my failure at the moment to get pity or pep talks- please dont think that- I just dont know how else to get this through. I can't talk to my husband about any of this because he already has to deal my outbursts and moody tantrums as it is. He should get a medal for putting up with this crap I have been dishing out lately.

Needless to say I am overwhelmed.... with crappy mom syndrome. I am kinda stuck dealing with it, but I just can't seem to find a way around the freak outs and the stress... God grant me serenity, peace, and let me be anxious for nothing.