Way to be positive Doc

Today I saw the doc. Told her I was staying positive about the whole bedrest thing and the dislocation drama. Told her I was dealing with things well and that I could handle little setbacks.... and guess how she responded?! With crappy news of course!
Geez, don't you just hate when someone steps on your positive attitude! I know she is only doing her medical responsibility but it still was frustrating.
So. For a few days I have been having what seemed like Braxton Hicks. Simple contractions that are quite common during this stage of pregnancy so I more or less dismissed them. When they got a little too intense a few days ago I propped my feet up, drank plenty of water, and took it easy until they eventually went away. I mentioned this to Dr. Lisa she decided a cervix check was in order. Turns out my cervix is still closed (thankfully) but it has gotten too soft for comfort. For the frist time my overly bubbly doctor seemed genuinely worried. I am 26 weeks and she has put me on some crazy meds that I can only take to 32 weeks.... and after that I am very liley to go into labor and they will probably not be able to stop me since my cervix has shortened and gone soft. Go figure.
The meds she put me on have all these crazy serious side effects too! Like stomach bleeding (which she warned me was quite common), swelling, and fetal risk. Plus, the continuous intake of the meds lowers the amount of amniotic fluid in the womb which of course is not good for the baby or me. Add that to some placenta previa and a dislocated hip and geesh is it difficult to keep smiling. i actually cried this time. I have a strong faith- the strongest faith I have ever had in my life and I believe completely in the power of prayer and in God's grand design--- but sometimes it does get overwhelming. I am grateful for my health and Baby C's. I am grateful for my amazing husband who is so strong and so supportive that I don't know what I would do without him and his waiting on me hand and foot. I am grateful for my wonderful kids who are constantly running to my side bringing me water bottles, rubbing my swollen feet, and checking on me- offering hugs and kisses whenever I feel down. I have the best family in the world. They are always calling to check on me and asking what they can do for me. I have awesome church friends who have offered meals and childcare to help me stay on bedrest without feeling like I neglect my duties to my family. Most importantly I have an amazing God who has NEVER let me down and has ALWAYS taken care of my family.... so we will survive.... but keeping a smile on is proving hard right now.... this too shall pass
Please send prayers our way. Only God can get us through the impossible and only through faith will our hearts feel lightened.
I love you all for your support too. Thanks

Holy Cow!

The previous post was super long! Geesh! Here is a shorter one! LOL!

Autumn.... the beauty of it all

I love autumn! I love the cool mornings with warm afternoons. I love the smell of pumpkins and autumn leaves. I love hot cocoa on my deck while wrapped in a light blanket watching my kiddos play in the yard. I love hoodies and wraps and scarves! I love autumn!

Ok, now that my poetic run is over there is a bit going on here I should docment.
We have been back home in Clarksville now for a little over 3 months. I am so glad to be back home! I love being close to family and friends and being able to be back at my home church!
I have been working as the Assistant Manager at the studio and Jared has been excelling as a recruiter in training for the National Guard. Both of us have found jobs that we love and are very happy in... and though I know it sounds negative- somehow I should have known things were gonna tilt-a-whirl! lol

My pregnancy- week 24 1/2 now- has been the best one I have ever had. I had minimal morning sickness, minimal exhaustion, and little moodiness (unless you talk to Jared I suppose lol). With Chase, as I am sure some of you remember, I suffered from a severe hip pain on my right side. My doctor first suggested that Chase was sitting on a nerve causing the pain and eventually came to the conclusion that I must have suffered a fracture that eventually healed wrong. So, for 2 years I have been dealing with this pain and situation figuring there was nothing I could do about it. Well, when the issue still bothered me during this pregnancy I confronted my doctor again and was finally sent to physical therapy... Lo and behold the Therapist diagnosed me during our first session-dislocated pelvis! Apparently a common pregnancy condition, most women who suffer from it can only take the uncomfortableness and pain for a short period of time and are "corrected" within weeks. The therapist was so incredibly shocked with my 2 year battle she called in 3 other therapists as well. The determined there was jsut shy of a 5 in spread difference between the location of my right hip and that of my left. The equivalent of wearing a stiletto heel on only one foot for 2 years! ha! no wonder I was "complaining" so much! lol
Anyhoo- I began seeing the therapist and let me say it is soooo not fun having your entire pelvis relocated!!! But the pain in my hip has greatly subsided, temporarily though. According to her, I will continue to fluctuate between neutral and dislocated over the course of the next few months until we get everything strengthened and corrected. Boy does it hurt to fluctuate!
Upon this discovery of my pelvis' unfortunate location (must have had an outdated mapquest) the therapist also discovered that because of my 2 year stint as a crooked individual my spine is also crazy messed up - yep because Im that lucky- and could take an additional few months to correct. Worse case though, at least by this time next year I should be ok and uncrooked for good! lol
This spinal pelvic craziness has unfortunately led me to become a bit of an invalid temporarily... I am not permitted to do anything that involves pelvic movement because there is such a high risk of dislocating (and photographers have to bend, twist, lift, and chase) so I was put on desk only duty.... until the doc found my placenta previa at my ultrasound! Really? Thankfully its not a severe case so there is a really good chance it will correct before delivery- but I have had some spotting and pain and so I am not on indefinite bedrest! boooo! I have the chance for recovery- which I am holding onto with faith- but until then I cant work :(

This would not be the end of the world if it weren't for the wonderful military system! Jared's orders are temporary until the slot he is training for becomes available. Since Oct1 started the beginning of the new Army fiscal year--- all temp orders for non-permanent personnel are discontinued until the new budget is decided upon (ya, I am stuck waiting on Obama) and dished out.... meaning my husband is no longer employed as well :)

Blessing (there always is one!): Jared received his midtour bonus finally and we were able to at least pay off rent for the rest of this year until January. We took care of other little things here and there that will keep us from dishing out more each month (i.e. credit cards). So- we have also been saving up paychecks and can comfortably survive the rest of 2011 barring any unseen insanity that may pop up. This gives me time to heal up and Jared time to secure another job until the new buget is instated.

We really go back and forth alot with fortune... though there are alot of really hard times in our past that have come close to breaking us, we have a strong faith in God and He has ALWAYS got us through our flippity floppity times. I have been dealing with pain for a few years that has at least subsided some and that I now know the cause of. We have a wonderful addition going to be joining our family in a few months and we still dont know the sex on purpose!! How exciting!! We have a strong relationship and have gotten through much worse.... and what doesn't kill you makes you stronger!!!

Overwhelmed with Crappy Mom Syndrome

Well I am officially hard core back at work now. I have worked everyday but Sunday for the past week and I have Thursday off then nothing all next week (the studio manager is leaving on vacation now that I am back so I am running the show which means even when I am off I am on call). I thoroughly enjoy my job and it feels great to be back at work. The weird crazy part that i wasn't really thinking about ahead of time was the Crappy Mom Syndrome that comes with being back at work and having a full time job. I have crazy nights, due to my pregnancy, where I sleep very little and what sleep I do get is sparatic and light. I get up early in the morning because this crazy baby has an internal alarm clock that doesnt allow me sleep past 8 no matter how hard I try and I get ready for work. I work 9-11 hours away from my kids and then drive home tired. I walk into my house and lo and behold- it's just as trashed and insane as it was when I left and all I can do is trip over randomly placed items while I yell and scream at my children about the mess I see instead of greeting them with hugs and "I love you's" like a good mom would. We have lived here a month and frankly nothing much has been done. I am ashamed to have anyone in my house and I would rather pack up my entire family and drive out in the heat to meet up with a friend or family then have them step foot in my home. The other day I came home from grocery shopping to find that my psycho dog had torn apart 2 trash bags full of garbage that we had just set by the door so we would remember to throw them in Jared's truck to run to the dump. I, being pregnant and not of sound stomach, could not even be in the kitchen it was so bad. I had to gag my way through picking up half exposed diapers and dinner scraps. Judge me if you will because it wont make my house any cleaner nor my life any easier so it's not going to affect me, butI threw that dog out of the house and just started screaming. I yelled at the kids about how they leave messes around the house and how they don't clean up after their breakfast, I yelled to myself about how Jared should have taken the bags with him that morning instead of leaving them sitting around the house, and I yelled because I was so ashamed of my home that "I" didn't even want to be there. I have obviously seen what it is like to fail at being a house wife- or any kind of wife for that matter. My kids are always walking around on eggshells because they are sure I am about to yell at them for something. Don't get me wrong, my girls do neglect their responsibilites and show little appreciation for rules- but they are 9, 6, and 4, and don't deserve a crappy mom who cant take care of their home or properly provide for her family without having an anxiety attack or psycho break down.
I am not here blogging about my failure at the moment to get pity or pep talks- please dont think that- I just dont know how else to get this through. I can't talk to my husband about any of this because he already has to deal my outbursts and moody tantrums as it is. He should get a medal for putting up with this crap I have been dishing out lately.

Needless to say I am overwhelmed.... with crappy mom syndrome. I am kinda stuck dealing with it, but I just can't seem to find a way around the freak outs and the stress... God grant me serenity, peace, and let me be anxious for nothing.

New Words & Crazy Antics

My son develops more and more everyday. Well duh, but I seem to realize it more each day now that I am home all day!
He LOVES to dance! He shrugs his shoulders up and down- throws his hands in the air- shakes his whole body- and claps while he spins in a circle! It amazes me how he can walk around for two seconds and then fall on his face because he has crazy balance issues (probably because of that big giant tummy he has sticking out in the front) but he can spin in circles and dance and not fall down!
He is 18 months old now, and it hasn't gone by as terrifyingly fast as I thought it was going to but it still seems too early. He is a smart boy. He knows his basic sign language- eat, all done, drink, milk, more, play, apple, banana, please, thank you, sorry, and for "I love you" he puckers up to give kisses! I was worried for awhile that teaching him to sign was going to affect his learning to talk and in some ways I think it has, but he is learning more everyday so I am hopeful. He can say, "eat, drink, please, thank you, hi, bye, love you, night night, mama, dada, yeah, all done, up, xander, doggie, milk, and bear." He also says "down" in the funniest way ever! He GROWLS it! its the cutest thing when he gets all rough voiced and says Dooowwwnnn! I think it's because we taught him up and down at the same time and when we would say down we were throwing our arms down real fast and it came out more growly. I love listening to him learn new words too. He tries to copy his sisters when they say things to him and when Jared and I say things to him too.

Cadince, my tiny little Cadie Bug, has developed a new infatuation with proving how tiny and cute she is. She has been randomly putting on Chase's clothes, or old baby clothes that I have been sorting through lately trying to decide what to put aside for the new baby, her old clothes size 2Tish that we are setting aside for charity- basically anything that she shouldnt be able to fit into.... and the crazy unrealisitic hilariously unbelievable part is, she fits into all this stuff somehow!! Yesterday it was Chase's old Halloween costume from last year- a 6-9 month Chewbaca costume! She put it on, Ciara buttoned the bottom buttons and the buttons in the back, and the only aspect that showed that could convince you it wasnt made in her size was that it started at her knees instead of her ankles and went to her elbows instead of her wrists! lol! It was just so funny!

So far everything is going ok with the pregnancy. I am 13 weeks now and so I am hoping that as I finish out this first trimester I can stop feeling like crud. I started back at work this past week. Golly I missed it! Of course right now it's just a few days here and there but in a month it is going to start picking up. I am crossing my fingers and hoping that one- I am not sick or dealing with crazy preggo stuff that would cause an interference and two- that the constant busy days and long hours will helpme stay in great shape during the pregnancy and I wont have to worry about getting anywhere near 200 lbs! lol! I shouldnt, regardless, but with this being baby number 4 and me not having been as active as I SHOULD have these past few months before the pregnancy, I am worried I am going to gain like 40lbs or something! Good news is, this is the end of the first trimester and I havent gained anything yet! I have been nauseous alot but not actually getting sick very often, I get fatigued and blah feeling but it comes and goes, and if I do too much it makes me feel like I am having heat stroke but I can focus enough to swallow the yuckiness and continue on.

I did want to say one thing I feel very positive about too! My son sleeps in his own bed. Last night I felt like a bad Mom twice. The first time was when Chase was fussing in his room not wanting to sleep and I let him crawl into my bed with me and Jared and tried to persuade him to fall asleep with us. It hit me what a bad idea that was. Jared and I had always been cautious with the girls. They slept with us for the first few months bc I was nursing and I liked the closeness, but once they were about 7 months old they were in a crib- usually in another room. The girls take turns some nights sleeping inthe bed with me now that they are older when Jared stays up really late playing games or when he is out of town, but they know they have their own beds and that that is their primary sleep spot. I had always kinda vowed that I wouldnt let my kids get use to sleeping in my bed because, as they say, old habits are hard to break. Plus, frankly, it can get in the way of any kind of love life with my husband! I'm not impyling that decision anyone else has made regarding co-sleeping with their kids is wrong, just so I am covering that base, just that it is not what I want for my kids.... anyway, the second time I felt like a bad Mom last night was when I took my son-still awake- out of my bed and put him back in his room, laid with him in his bed for a few moments, then left him screaming again as I walked back to my room. He had a horrible day yesterday- no real nap and it was a busy day- and he needed his mommy, but I didnt want him getting use to sleeping with me so I let him scream and cry for 25 minutes before he finally fell asleep. I know, in my own twisted way, I did the right thing by letting him self soothe, as he has had to do before in the past... but any Mom knows it is not easy to listen to their baby sad and in emotional pain.
I know I said that was a positive thing and really it is. I do know quite a few friends who are struggling with their little one sleeping on their own and I do not envy them. I feel blessed that my kids have been easy adjusters to my crazy rules and such. I feel blessed that my parents taught me to prepare for when my kids get older- habits that they could develop because of how they are raised as younger children- as infants, I know to get them ready for and to take actions to avoid now.

Oh my goodness what a long blog. Guess thats what happens when you wait to update.
BTW, we love being back in Clarksville, near our families and friends, and our new place- just gotta get around to unpacking finally! lol

BIG secret!!!

Just thought I would go ahead and post it since we have officially told all our family... We are going to have our last baby! I am due in January so this little one will be almost exactly 2 years younger than Chase which is exactly how we wanted it! We are so excited but in some ways it is sort of bitter sweet for me knowing this will be our last one. I know alot of people in this world, even my close friends and family, think having a large family is insane and, well to some, its irresponsible and stupid. I, however, have always known I would be a Mommy to many and there is nothing that makes me happier than being a Mommy! Jared and I have pretty much said we wanted 5 from the beginning and we didnt want them so spaced out that they couldnt get relate to one another and we both decided a few months ago it was time.
I try so hard not to let the criticism and reaction of people bother me when we say we are pregnant each time. To many I can tell that it's pretty much expected we are just going to be pregnant every year-- "that's just Jared and Jessica, they are ALWAYS having another baby" kinds thing... and we are about to have 5 kids in only 7 years of marriage but here is the kicker... GOD decided this path for me just as much as Jared and I decided it for ourselves. We always pray and discuss the matter before we even think about trying to have another baby. As luck (or sever misbehavior as a teenager if you wanna be glass half empty lol) would have it I started having kids young and so I am able to say I will have all my kids (5 of them) before I turn 25 years old. This to me gives me an advantage over waiting (not that there is ANYTHING wrong with being older and I certainly will encourage maturity for my children before they have kids) until I was older to start my family. I have so many things I want to do in my life and in 5 years, all my kiddos will be in school and I will be 29 and in college about to finish my degree (if I havent completed it by then which God willing I will) and I can start my career without worrying about trying to plan having kids around that. You might see me a selfish or even ridiculous, or just think Jared and I have never seen a Trojan commercial lol, but really, we were meant to be parents and I could not ask God for a better occupation, blessing, or purpose in my life than to be a Mommy!

Sorry for the crazy weird rant in the middle, just have had a lot of unenthused people with "rolling their eyes and exclaiming AGAIN?!" reactions and it does hurt when I feel like others arent as excited as me just because I already have a few kiddos. Every life brought into this world is another life that can be lived for the Lord and having 4 kids already in no way belittles this baby to us or to the Lord in any way! I am just as excited as when I found out I was pregnant with Ciara, Cadince, and Chase and when I adopted Cecilia!

Week 9 Report: So far there has been a wonderous heap of nausea and heartburn in my life lol. That's how I knew I must be pregnant last month. I had had 2 full weeks of straight heart burn everyday no matter what I ate or drank. I stopped drinking soda and eating anything spicy and practically ate a whole box of Tums in 2 weeks time with no change! This baby wears me out too. I feel crazy lethargic all the time and when I am ready to eat I have to eat right away or I start to feel very ill and then can't eat at all. I practically live off of water and animal crackers right now! My first OB appt is tomorrow June 17th. That's when we will hear the heartbeat and get all my routine bloodwork and such done. Right now it looks like my due date is January 16, 2012. We have discussed our sex preference and have both decided we don't have one. While we would love another boy so Chase can have a brother to play with, we will be just as excited to have another little princess in our lives. Of course this baby will be another "C" baby. If we have a girl she will be Corralee Patience and if we have a boy his name will be Chanton Frederick!

Million months

So, I have noticed that I haven't posted in a few million months. Since my last post I have adopted a child, changed careers, been blessed (well duh!), Jared has gotten a new job (also part of the blessing thing!), my children have graduated from another year of school, and we are about to move.... AGAIN! lol

Adopted a child say what?!
Jared and I have been married nearly seven years. In those seven years there has been one very important thing that I have been wanting to do but there always seemed to be something keeping me from being able to (finances, timing, situations, etc). Well, on our 6th anniversary last year, Jared took me downtown to meet with a lawyer about being able to have me officially adopt Cecilia! We paid the man a katrillion dollars it seems, signed enough papers to buy a house, and played the army game of hurry up and wait. Well, 6 months later, on March 1st, we had our court date and all of the paparework and legal mess was finalized. Cecilia is my daughter!!! Now, before all this adoption stuff, you would of ended up pretty brusied and sore if you had tried to tell me she wasn't my little girl. I may not have been the one to bring her into this world, but I am the only one who loves her like a mother does, I am the one who potty trained her, was there when she lost her first tooth, taught her to read and write, cried when she left for church camp the first summer I was away from her for a week, taught her to swim, kissed her goodnight every night for 7 years, and will be the one crying the day she leaves my home. She is as much my child as the girls and Chase are and there had never been a difference in my mind or in my heart.... the only difference there is now is that it's all legalized on paper and NO ONE can EVER take her away from me! She stood infront of that judge and touched my heart so deep when she said I was her Mama and she was happy that I could finally adopt her and be with her forever! Cecilia one day you will read this and I just want to make sure you know-- I feel EXACTLY the same way!

I haven't officially changed careers, just fyi :) I went from being a regular associate at the Portrait Studio, to running my own studio, to stepping down for awhile to be the one at home because of Jared's new amazing amesome spectacular job, to getting everything ready to move out of our new town to head back home and go back to my roots! lol! What a jumble.
Jared's new job is in Clarksville so it just makes sense to get back there! He got the call about 2 months ago to take up a job as a full time National Guard recruiter!! They're gonna send him to school in the next few months and then he will fill the slot of a leaving recruiter so we want to be settled in back home before he starts up as full time because the fall months are the busiest!

Cecilia is now officially a 4th grader (geez how the heck did that happen?!). Ciara just graduated from Kindergarten and is now a 1st grader (Lord help us all!). Cadince finished up Preschool top of her class, and she is more than ready to be a Kindergartener next year! My tiny little Bug is about to be in KINDERGARTEN!!!! Now I am shaking in my skin! I am so not ready for my kiddos to be growing up but then again what can I do about it?! haha! Just gotta be thankful for the time I have with them and hope and pray I have taught them all they need as they grow.

Well I'm gonna wrap this up. Seeing as how most of the people I try to keep blog tagging with have closed me up from their blogs and since I have been so lazy blogging this probably won't be read by many but I need to keep up with this thing for records purposes! lol!

Oh, and P.S..... We got another big secret too but its a work in progress so we will reveal it when the time comes!

Stolen from everyone else! lol

TEN FACTS

•Name - Jessica Marie Golson

•Nicknames - Mommy, Mom, Jess, Sis, Wee-Todd (dont ask), Babe, Mamamamamama (chase)

•Any birth marks - yep

•Hair color - darkish brown with red and blonde highlights (that need a touch up soon)

•Natural hair color - ummmmmm??? blondish-reddish-brownish- every colorish

•Eye color - golden

•Height - 5’7"

•Mood - exhausted

•Favorite color - yellow

•One Place You Want to Visit - Venice, Ireland, Paris, Alaska..... :)

TEN THIS OR THAT

•Love or lust - love

•Cats or dogs – doggies

•A few best friends or many regular friends - both

•Television or internet - internet

•Chinese or Indian food - chinese

•Wild night out or romantic night in - wild night out with the hubby that ends with romatic night in

•Money or Happiness - happiness.... and money??? lol

•Night or day - Night

•MSN or phone - phone

TEN HAVE YOU’S

•Ever performed in front of a large crowd - yes

•Ever done drugs - no

•Ever consumed alcohol- yes

•Ever been on a dance team - yes

•Ever been on a sports team - yes

•Ever been in a drama play/production - yes

•Ever owned a BMW, Mercedes Benz, Escalade, Hummer or Bentley? - nope

•Ever been in a rap video? - Sir-Mix-A-Lot asked me but I was just way too busy haha

TEN LASTS

•Last phone call you made - Jared

•Last person you hung out with - Kids

•Last person you tackled - KIDS

•Last person you IM’d - not sure.... not a big IM'er

•Last person(s) you went to the movies with - Jacky and Jessica Burlesque!!!

•Last thing you missed - a call from the kid's school

•Last thing you ate - chips and salsa

WOULD YOU RATHER

•Pierce your nose or tongue? - Monroe

•Be serious or be funny? - hilarious

•Drink whole or skim milk? - whole

•Spend time with your parents or enemies? - parents

ARE YOU

•Simple or complicated? - complicated on the inside but relatively simple on the outside :)

DO YOU PREFER

•Flowers or candy? - neither really

•Gray or black? - black

•Color or Black and white photos? - depends on the pictures

•Sunrise or sunset? - sunset

•Staying up late or waking up early? - soooo not an early morning person :)

DO YOU PREFER

•Sun or moon? - moon + stars

•Left or right? - right

•Sun or rain? - rainy sunny days are just memorable

•Vanilla or chocolate ice cream? - chocolate

•Vodka or Jack Daniels? - neither really

•Nervous Habits? - laughing when I am scared, jabbering

•Are you double jointed? - nope

•Can you twist your tongue around and roll it? - yes

•Can you raise one eyebrow? - yes

•Can you cross your eyes? - yes but I get the worst headache when i do

•Do you make your bed daily? - depends on how i slept the night before

QUESTIONS

•Which shoe goes on first? - depends on the shoes lol, heels= right foot, tennis= either, boots= right, flip flops= left usually

•Ever thrown something at someone? - yes

•On average, how much money do you carry with you? - $3-4

•What jewelry do you wear? - wedding band, earrings, belly button ring

•Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? - twirl until i get slapped in the face too many times, then i cut it

•Have you ever eaten Spam? - i lived in hawaii!!! lol spam musubi! spam and eggs, spam and rice... as long as it is fried up right its like fried bologna

•Favorite ice cream? - cookie dough

•How many kinds of cereal are in your cabinet? - 5

•What’s your favorite beverage? - pepsi, lemonade

•Do you cook? - yeppers!! love it

LASTS

•Last Alcoholic Drink:? - Amaretto Sour

•Last Car ride? - coming back from Bowling Green

•Last Movie watched? - Braveheart- because I LOVE it! lol

All it takes is one

Yesterday I stopped in at work to help my girls for a few hours when I knew they were busy, even though it was my day off. While I was there one of MY regulars (she comes only when she knows I am working lol) showed up after being out of town for almost 2 months! I was excited to see her and when I went to give her her pictures she came to pick up she exclaimed all surprised, "Oh my gosh you have lost ALOT of weight girl! Look at you and how thin you are!" This made my day because I have been getting quite proud of how I look everytime I get ready to go anywhere and look in the morror.... All it takes is one person to say something and it can make a whole day great!!! lol

On a side note but relevant, Jared recently was issued his dress blues uniform and I have been talking about going and getting really nice pictures done together with them- he in his blues and me in a nice formal dress- but this would have to wait bc I had weight to lose. Well, just last week my sister and I went out just to try on some dresses and see how I felt- see how much longer it would be before I would actually THINK about buying and posing in a dress much less feel comfortable trying many on. I am so oober proud to say the first one I tried on, this long tight flowing gown fit so nicely (and it was tight around the waist and backside)! I didnt have rolls or even the love handles I thought I had bulging out the side, it just smoothed straight down and dang my hips looked good! lol! I didnt get it bc it was this weird topped one and it really made me look flat chested as all get out but I was just so pleased that it wasnt a size 15 or something like that and that I looked so good, even my sister was impressed.... so I tried on some more too haha. One was this "pretty pretty princess" dress as Jacky called it. It was like a corset up top and then poofed out in layers all the way down to the ground all silver and sparkly. All I needed was a tiara and look out Cinderella! lol!

Anyway, since "FIT" is my word for this year I thought this post would be relevant and I want to look back on it one day and remember this good feeling!

My big big BOY!!

Today my handsome little boy turned 1! While he is still the same size he was at 9/10 months--because he never grows-- he is still a big boy now and it is actually harder to accept then I expected. Since he was born on my sister's 20th birthday, they both celebrated today- him 1 and her 21! As a gift for them both I brought them to the studio today and had their bday pictures done. I think they turned out super great but you can decide! lol

At first there was only going to be pictures of Chase and Aunt Jacky but when I got to thinking about it I realized I might look back and wish I had taken at least one picture with my son for his birthday... So I got a couple cute ones of us together.

I had these shirts made for the pictures. I thought it would be a cute idea to do a pose from behind and my boss took the photos and they turned out so cute! Chase did so well and it meant alot to Jacky to get pictures done with him!

I am quite proud of how these pictures turned out. I feel bad because I never got pictures done for the girls for their 1st birthdays like this... pictures around their birthdays yes, but not with th 1's and never of just them individually to celebrate. But I never worked for a portrait studio before with great discounts and opportunities either. So, you take each chance you can right? lol :)

Speaking of working at a portrait studio, I have some excellent news that I can finally share!

My district manager called me about a week ago and asked me if I was interested in a management experience they had available in Bowling Green Kentucky. The offer price was lower than what we could live off of, with moving and all, so I told him I needed a better offer but I was willing to move if the price was right. Today he called me and offered me a little more, still not enough for us to live off of... we had already found the most affordable place in Bowling Green and knew we had a certain price we could live with... so once again I had to tell him not unless we could bring the price up. Thankfully he has been very impressed with me and wanted me to have this job. He really went to bat for me with the regional manager and right before Chase's party tonight I got "the call" we had been waiting for. The right price with a guarantee raise within 3-6 months as long as I perform like I should. As excited as I am I also feel a bit nervous. This is a big responsibility and an opportunity for my family I am afraid I could mess up. I absolutely LOVE my job and have been aiming towards management since I started really. I am feeling quite blessed for this amazing chance and I am praying for the many blessings that I really feel will continue to come from this.

We will be moving the first week of February! That's nice and soon. lol. We havent decided whether we are going to move straight to Bowling Green or maybe the half-way point between here and there in Russelville. We dont have forever to decide so we are going to be going through all the apartments and rentals we can find over the next few days and make some phone calls and a drive out that way to view the area. Prayers please that we find the right place for us and the best place for our family to live.

Well there is an update for everyone! Wish us luck and blessings!!!

New Year

For my New Year's Resolution/goal, I am going to be a better blogger.... keep a better journal for my family's sake and so when I am 83 years old and can't remember my own name much less things I did in my 20's- I will have these journals/blogs to read over and remember how I learned, struggled, loved, lost, grew, shrank, wanted, pleaded, received, and all my many blessings from the Lord! I can remember how my kids discovered the world one small new adventure at a time. There is alot going on right now I can't really put on here yet, not until everything is final and set in stone, but the moment everything gets into place I want to put it all here so I can remember the joy and strength I had for my family and how amazing my husband, my kids, and my family were in supporting me.
I can't write much today, got tooooo much else going on, but as part of this new goal, I knew I needed to jot this down.
Also, my friend Laura has asked what everyone's "word" for this NEW year 2011 is... a word that details in a nutshell what your strongest goal is for yourself, what your biggest flaw filled area of your life encompasses and how you plan to change that.... and I got to thinking about it today while I sat in church for the first time in months because of all my crazy work hours. Pastor Tracy, a wonderful minister I feel very strongly was sent here to help me on my path to the Lord and who has influenced my better living by pointing me to the savior who can lead me through anything and everything, was talking about getting "fit" this year. Spiritually fit that is. The bible talks about it quite often and how important it is to get spiritually "fit". Within the idea of spiritual fitness is financial fitness, physical fitness, and relationship fitness. All areas of my life I need very much to work on.... So my word is FITNESS.... and by this time next year I do want to say YES, I have gotten spiritually fit, physcially fit, financially fit, and built stronger relationships with those in my life.
What about you?